T’was as if she had just one roll of the dice to throw double-six.
Caitlin’s coaching assignment with Alberto Martinez, the Acting Head of Product Development, had taken over 4 months.
Once every 14 days or so she had driven up from Philly to the New York H.Q. of the International Drinks company. Now it was coming to an end.
Her skilled coaching had achieved results. Alberto had managed to positively shift the personal relationship discomfort he had with the Director of Manufacturing.
He’d also set out, and commenced, a clear plan of action with his 5 direct reports in reducing the large backlog of product development delays. Delays that were costing the company an extra $14.27M every month.
Perhaps most telling of all, after years of trying, Alberto had finally lost thirteen pounds in body weight and was feeling significantly better about himself. He was beyond pleased.
Their final session was concluding. For the last time, Caitlin was ready to rise from her comfortable chair in the conference room.
But, instead, she steeled herself in anticipation. Plucked up thin courage and managed to half-heartedly say “I’m wondering… you’ve told me you got a lot of value from the coaching… em, is there anybody else you know who you think I could coach?”
Her voice pitched high unexpectedly at the end of her question, slightly wavering. She cringed inside, she’d just inadvertently made noticeable her nervousness. The very thing she didn’t want to display.
Alberto looked at her not quite knowing what to say in response. He had been taken by surprise, like a rabbit suddenly caught in headlights.
A period of four or five seconds of very awkward silence ensued. To her, time suspended in mid-air, making every second excruciating. She was embarrassed to have asked him.
It felt like begging for business.
The corporate equivalent of a panhandler sitting on the sidewalk rattling a tin at passers-by, making them feel so bad they wouldn’t even look you in the face.
Caitlin became aware of her wedding ring digging into her finger and realised her hands were clenched onto the arms of the chair, very tightly.
Every fibre in her body despised asking for referrals. But she knew, from what marketing material she had read, that it should be her best chance of obtaining a new client. Why didn’t it feel like that?
By unexpectedly springing the question, it had left Alberto no room to think. No room to properly consider it. No room to say ‘yes’.
This escaped Caitlin. Totally.
All Alberto could utter were the words that felt disappointing – “oh right, em… let me have a think about that… (further pause)… eh, i’ve got to get to a lunchtime appointment, let me have a proper think about it, okay?”
Caitlin fumbled her papers into her briefcase and walked out the conference room, hating the situation. She’d embarrassed herself. Put her valued client smack, bang, squarely on-the-spot. Made both of them feel ill-at-ease.
And, for what? Probably nothing. She knew by his response that it was unlikely that anything would come of it. She’d seen that startled look before, and heard the response before.
Caitlin loathed asking for referrals. It all felt so unsavoury.
She muttered under her breath “Why do good coaches have to do this? Why can’t we just do really good work with clients and somehow new clients just appear?”
Sound familiar?
How many of us have been in this position before? Knowing we need to gain more clients, but hating asking for them through referrals.
There are very good reasons for this. We don’t want to damage our client relationship. We don’t want to impose on people. Biggest of all, we don’t want to feel rejected.
Humans fear rejection.
We, irrationally, fear clients will laugh in our face. Reveal to their work colleagues how futile we must be to ask for a referral. Humiliate us by immediately changing their opinion from ‘great executive advisor’ to ‘lonely desperate loser’.
So, if you don’t want to end up feeling you’re in some sort of business crapshoot with just a single throw of the dice to win new clients, here are a few things you might think about:
1. Crucially, address the referrals issue at the outset of your engagement (not at the end). Make it clear that you seek them.
Simply say “Henry, if you gain significant value from our work together, in return will you be happy to introduce me to a couple of referrals who you think would also benefit from my consulting?”
Explain that this is one of the main ways that you obtain new clients, and that your business is built upon it. Leave no doubt about the importance to you, sensitively but clearly.
Of course, you then must deliver excellent value for this to work.
2. I recommend sending an email to the client, between first and second meetings, which sets out detail of the scope and objectives of the agreed assignment.
Importantly, at the end of the email informally mention that the client will seek to recommend referrals if they are delighted with the service received.
Do this in addition to any signed, formal, contract agreement.
3. If during your conversations with your client they mention the performance of others, take note. At the end of the following meeting just ask, matter-of-factly, if that person would also benefit from your service.
Do it in a sophisticated manner. Sensitively. Casually.
But, do it at the following meeting so as not to appear keen to jump upon any slightest opportunity.
4. At your second-to-last session with your client, ask them directly about possible referrals. Leave at least 10-15 minutes at the end to do so.
In my experience at this point, having followed the above process, a client will often come up with a couple of names. If not, they know at the final meeting they will be asked again.
5. Ask them if they would introduce you personally to the referral by phone. Try to first have a three-way phone introduction conversation: you, your client, your referral.
If more appropriate, offer to draft an introduction email for your client to send.
Make sure you include the results achieved by your client. Give to your client so they can re-write in their own style.
Generating good quality referrals need not be tackled like playing the casino. Instead follow a strategic approach that will not only be much more successful, but will also leave you and your client feeling good about it too.
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